1. Ada Doom: I saw something nasty in the woodshed.
Earl P. Neck: Sure you did, but did it see you baby? -- COLD COMFORT FARM
2. Cousin Angus: There's NO butter in hell! -- COLD COMFORT FARM
3. Noah Praetorius: The woman has yet to be born who doesn't in her heart believe that she'll make her husband a much better wife than he has any possible right to expect. -- PEOPLE WILL TALK
5. Professor Barker: What a bloody mess.
Noah Praetorius: And who's fault is it, my fine atomic friend? You can't go around smashing everything you see, you know. Everything isn't atoms.
Professor Barker: Yes it is.
Noah Praetorious: Not for smashing it isn't. Not in my house and not my train. Debra, get out of the way before Professor Barker smashes you. He's on a smashing bend. -- PEOPLE WILL TALK
6. Debra Praetorius: It's just that I love you so much. And I went and put all those candles on that cake when you're really only nine years old. -- PEOPLE WILL TALK
7. Gilbert: Come on, sit down, take it easy. What's the trouble?
Iris Henderson: If you must know, something fell on my head.
Gilbert: When, infancy? -- THE LADY VANISHES
8. Gilbert: Can I help?
Iris Henderson: Only by going away.
Gilbert: No, no, no, no. My father always taught me, never desert a lady in trouble. He even carried that as far as marrying Mother. -- THE LADY VANISHES
9. One of the best 'Thanks, but no thanks" lines ever.
Reggie Lambert: I already know an awful lot of people and until one of them dies I couldn't possibly meet anyone else.
10. Peter Joshua: Well if anyone goes on the critical list let me know.
Reggie Lambert: Quitter.
Peter Joshua: What's that?
Reggie Lambert: You give up awfully easy don't you? -- CHARADE
11. Ned Seton: You know most people, including Johnny and yourself, make a big mistake about Julia: They're taken in by her looks. At bottom she's a very dull girl and the life she pictures for herself is the life she belongs in. -- HOLIDAY
12. Linda Seton: You wouldn't care to step into a waltz as the old year dies, would you Mr. Case? -- HOLIDAY
13. Flora Poste: Highly sexed young men living on farms are always called Seth or Reuben. -- COLD COMFORT FARM
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