Thirteen Persons/Entities With Whom I'd Like to Share My Cold
1. The people who killed the electric car. I remember seeing the ads and being excited about the prospect of having an EV one day soon. Did you know that GM has crushed almost all of their electric cars? They revoked the leases of the owners once they and their pals managed to get California's emissions law quashed. Even threatened them with legal action if they refused to turn the cars over. Though protesters (many of whom were formerly EV drivers) offered 1.9 million dollars for the remaining 78 cars, GM took took them off to be crushed anyway. I'd no idea. Great movie: Who Killed the Electric Car?
2. My doctor; because he's been absolutely clueless about my illness. Going to see him means two hours of misery plus three days of recovery for 15 minutes of conversation, during which he never even looks me in the eye.
3. Buena Vista for not releasing the third season of Once and Again to DVD. Still.
4. Whoever it was that decided to change Popular from the truly sensitive and funny comedy-drama of the first few episodes into the bizarro plastic teen dark comedy that I really want to stop watching.
5. Telemarketing companies who call and then put me on hold.
6. Parents in grocery stores who force me to listen to them tell their kids, 'This is the last time I'm going to tell you.' . . . Ten times.
7. Movie critics who love the sight of their own words more than they do movies.
8. Film actors who are ignorant of their film history. Brad Pitt...this means you and well, almost every UPN 'actor' ever to tread a soundstage.
9. My upstairs neighbor who seems to enjoy moving furniture while having a party at 2 am.
10. People who drive slow in the fast lane.
11. People who drive fast in the slow lane.
12. People who always always bring the conversation back to themselves. 'You have cancer?! Wow that's awful. You know my neighbors' dog had cancer and they were simply devastated, I actually watched their three-year old when they took it to the vet to be put to sleep. Amazing, isn't it?'
13. Anyone who says, "To make a long story short . . . " 'Cause by the time they do it's always too late. And really . . .we're talking. . .I've got the time to listen.
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